I have not blogged in over a year now, but I have continued to think about this "tree" in my last post. Here is just a few simple thoughts that have played over and over in my mind and have taught me several lessons.

What do you see when you look at this tree? It's ugly right? Looks like it has lost everything off of its' branches. Shouldn't it be cut down and removed from life? Many of us probably would think that. I mean, what good is an ugly barren tree?
Lately I have compared myself to this picture. What good am I?? What use can I be to God? I am empty, and feel rather ugly.

Life has its' seasons. To those that think this tree looks hopeless need to be reminded of something. I needed the reminder. What I see, sometimes, tends to be completly different than what God sees. When I see a lonly, ugly tree, God sees a tree that in time, in another season will be beautiful and blooming!

To everything there is a season. I have learned that the greater the challenge that I go through, the greater the future is for me. It is best to quit focusing on what is happening around me, and start focusing on where I am going.

In His timing is best....Just a thought - Every setback is just a setup for a greater comeback.

Learning to trust Him!

Fall Season. It becomes Cold, leaves scatter to the ground. The tree becomes bare.

Life. It becomes empty. Everyone who had significance leaves. Life becomes the barren tree.

Question. Where are it's roots?

I have been reading a book recently that has brought many new ideas and challenges that I would like to step up to and face/ embrace. The question that the book deals with is, " What are we doing with our lives, beyond Sunday?" How are we investing time in others' lives to show them God's love? To help them grow, and mature? MY question is, am I living what I speak? I think this poem, taken out of this book really speaks clearly.


Beyond Sunday" by Woodie J. Stevens
"I'd rather see a sermon than hear one any day;
I'd rather one should walk with me than merely tell the way.
The eye is a better pupil, more willing than the ear;
Find counsel is confusing, but example is always clear.
And the best of all the preachers are the men who live their creeds,
For to see a good sermon put in action is what everybody needs.
I can soon learn how to do it if you will let me see it done;
I can watch your hand in action, but your tongue too fast may run.
And the lectures you deliver may be very wise and true,
But I'd rather get my lesson by observing what you do.
For I may misunderstand you and the high advice you give,
But there is no misunderstanding how you act and how you live.
When I see a deed of kindness, I am eager to be kind.
When a weaker brother stumbles, and a strong man stands behind.
Just to see if he can help hhim , then the wish grows strong in me
To become as big and thoughtful as I know that friend to be.
And all travelers can witness that the best of guides today
Is not the one who tells them, but the one who shows the way.
One good man teaches many; med believe what they behold.
One deed of kindness noted is worth forty that are told.
Who stands with men of honor learns to hold his honor dear,
For right living speaks a language which to everyone is clear.
Though an able speaker sharms me with his eloquence, I say,
I'd rather see a sermon than hear one any day."


Ask yourself, what are you living?

Questions. We all ask them. We all hope or expect someone to give us the answer. That would be easy right? I remember one of the professors at GBS saying to us, if we always were given the answers to our questions, we would never be given the "cause to learn". It is when we search for our answers that we learn and remember things longer.

I have asked millions of questions recently. But the questions still remain unanswered. Most of them will probably never be answered. But, I am sure one day I will look back and see that it is during these times that I have grown, that I have learned to trust. Trusting the One who knows every answer to every question that I have ever had.

Questions.. seeking...to find answers. Learning..how to trust.

I no longer want to blog. I think I've had a transfusion and it's out of my blood.

Prison.

They released me today- on good behavior. Yes, I spent eight and a half hours in the confines of this small room, with about 15 other people. Scheduled breaks and a little ol' Sargent who forgot what is like to sit on a hard chair listening to someone drone on and on.

Good behavior. Yes, I was on good behavior!! So at 430, I was released only on one condition- I have to go back tomorrow and repeat the whole routine all over again.... Yikes...For 5 days!!!

The joys of starting a new job. Orientation is what they call it.

I started my full-time job today on the brain-injury unit at SunnyView Rehab Hospital.

We'll see how it goes. Will let you know if I need bail money...

Going to bed. I feel like an ol' lady who needs sleep... zzzzz

Ang

I have officially decided that this is where I would like to reside for the rest of my life. Mmmm', YES!! Did someone say chocolate??? I'd say this place was built specifically for me. It has my name written ALL over it.



They even have the perfect street that I will be living on. Seriously, think about it. A house with chocolate fountains in the front yard... hershey kisses for my lamp posts...yes I can picture it now... =)



Ok, I am officially a factory worker here... I promise!! The guy welcomed me to the job and said to show up at 4am sharp!! Actually, I think this was the shortest job I've ever had, because I told him asap, that I quit.. Actualy, it all started off with my picture being taken for an I.D . Then, I and the boys had to wait in line. As I watched the process of things, and what everyone else had to do, I cringed inside asking myself what I had gotten into. But, there was no backing out!! Lucas kept forcing me forward, repeating " I will give you 2.50 if you do this with me. So, like a big kid, I let go of being 22, and joined in with the kids.

First, you got a container, that you filled up with hershey kisses. Then you turned around to face this guy who led you through one of the most embarassing "dances/jigs/making monkey noises. I felt so incredibly STUPID... He's was like... "hold your container in your hand... lets give it a chocolate swirl.....lets give it a choco shake.... lets give it a disco... lets give it a spin around... behind your legs... between your legs (yea, I had a skirt on)...... now, lastly lets give it a gorilla something...... a big kisss and send it off and away...

( I don't know how exactly the stupid thing went. But I sure felt DUMB... haha
Mmmmm' I LOVE these!!!!!!!!! Yes!!! I would love to have a closet full of these. Yummy!!!

Just thought I'd hang out a bit - this was quite comfortable for awhile, until one of the cousins thought it would be humerous to start whipping me with a tree branch... (ahem, no names)



So, I know we aren't supposed to adorn ourselves with costly array, or focus on our outside bodies, but does dying your feetsies purple count???

More pickin' and more pickin'.... Poor Caleb. I think he was a bit vertically challenged.

Ok, these post will be out of order, I think - but you'll get the picture =)


This is Lil Caleb and I hangin like little monkeys. As you can see, I think he's beginning in training for "chin ups". I just take the easy way and flip my feet up. Forget all that arm muscle!!






I think here, we were in the middle of a game of tag, you're it! Somehow, I was "it" almost all the time. Hmmm... We're how things work out like that.



This is oh-so-cool!!! Two little boys, equal my weight. Almost!! I think they enjoyed this a little too much, bouncing way down to the bottom, flying me up in the air. ( I almost feared for my life, thinking they both would jump off and really send me flying to the stars.... well.. wait.. I guess it would be the opposite... I'd go flat down into the mulch.... )
We found a Mulberry tree here at the park. The boys and Vicki ate and ate and ate. Me? I just climbed trees, and watched caleb pick the berries, put them in his mouth then spit them back out. (That's my kind of kid... haha)

I love going on road trips!! By myself! Just picking up and going, leaving everything behind. I went to PA for the weekend, which is something I really needed - some fun, some relaxation, and some re-filling of my emotional cup... Which was getting quite empty. (Yikes)... I am beginning to think that whenever I'm at that point again in my life, a nice LOOONG road trip, with just God and I is the perfect medecine.

So, let me share a few of the things I experienced while I went and visited my cousins and their boys.

I have learned - a few, if not MANY new little things from Lucas and Caleb.

1. Caleb - There is no such thing as TOO many hugs and kisses.

2. Lucas - I must learn to watch my glass of water, unless I want it sitting up-side-down in my lap.

3. Lucas and Caleb - It takes both of them on one side of a teter-totter, to balance my side out.

4. Lucas - pressing the "big circle" button on x-box controller?? REALLY fast at the beginning of your race gives you a jump- head start.

5 - ME - NEVER go outside in your PJ's Lucas in search of Ange, because you never know where she will be hiding.... WITH A HOSE!!!!!!!! =)

( I have learned lots more, but.... here, I will just share some of my pictures with you.)

The most recent change......

I am back in NY now for the month. I drove home with my car all packed, not telling anyone I was coming. As I made my journey back, I struggled with several different emotions and questions about the direction my life is going. . My questions have not all be answered, but as I wake up each and every day, I am trying to remind myself that if I honor God, He will honor me.

So that is what I am doing for the meantime...

To all those back at my "Cincinnati Home," I miss you all like crazy. As I sit out on the back porch in the evenings, I listen to the crickets sing their songs, and the cows moo their moo-ings. Their company just does not match up to yours.

To my boy, this will only be a short time away. Know that I am your Tater,

and if there is ever a time when you just break out in a grin for no reason,

just know that it is probably me - thinking of you. Work hard on your house. See you soon!!!!

I am trying to keep my mind occupied as much as possible. As I wonder if I have strength for this new journey, I am reminded that it is only through the journey that God will provide me the strength that I need. That if I continue to submit to Him, my life will become more like Him.

See everyone soon.... (yes here...and there)

Free. Assured. Relaxed. Confident.

I've sat here within the confines of my room thinking and just reveling in the many promises that God has reminded me of these last few days. I've been a bit oblivious over the last couple months of the many little, but big things God has been doing in my life. I've struggled with being without work since I have been out here. Several times I have found myself giving into my fears, and my uncertainties, and letting the negative side of life win.

One thing that I have learned especially this week is that once you change your mindset in a particular area, you give God all the room to carry out His plan for your life. There was a certain situation I have been praying about for what seems like months now. I hadn't realize that my unwillingness to think about it differently or being bitter about it was putting a roadblock in my path. This week, I have just seen that HE is the one in control, not me. He knows what is best for me, not me. He understands my emotions, and knows how to comfort. He knows what I need. And I just want to thank Him for that. 

Onto some other new things in my life. I have started nannying this week for two little adorable kids. Caden(4) and Emerson (11 months) Caden definitely keeps me on my feet, while Emerson is always into EVERYTHING!! She even eats the dog food. I have to keep a very close eye on her. If it isn't Caden driving his car around, running over her fingers, then it is Caden throwing his bouncy ball around "playing soccer" , knocking down all the picture frames. Boys will be boys, wherever and whenever they can be.  I have fun doing it though, but I definitely leave exhausted. 

Well, that is a little update on my end. Caden keeps asking when I will be taking him to the zoo. I almost feel like telling him... buddy, I am at the zoo right now... you little monkey! =)

Off to Indianapolis later !!! =) 

Drawn To His Heart
The God you trusted in the past is the One who’s faithful still.
Trust Him now,with all your heart,to be working out His will.
There’s nothing that you’re facing which takes Him by surprise
—All the things concerning you have not escaped His eyes.

His hand has been your covering through every circumstance,
Everything will work for good; nothing is by chance.
Let your faith abide in Him just like a mustard seed,
And you will find His promise true to meet your every need.

Wait on God to do His work in His perfect time and way.
The answer may seem slow just now, but He will not delay.
One day you’ll see the wisdom that led you from the start
Was given byyour Father’s love to draw you to His heart.

Written by Roy Lessin


________________________________

~ This little poem hit me today. Many thoughts to think on. ...................

Happy Birthday Mar!!!!!

Yes, she is....30 =)
Thanks to Bri, the "off-pitch" choir attempted to serenade our table, well...Marianna, with some quacky rendition of Happy Birthday....a piece of carrot cake, and a sparkler.....

Okay, we are attempting to take some pictures....

Including some pickles...

Thank You!!

I just wanted to give a big thank you to those back home who let me have christmas again....in March! =)
The goodies all look very yummy and I am sure are!! Thank You!!!

See you all in the near future maybe!! =)

The only place with snow!!! - And there, you will find me. =) Wow, I have finally gave in, and made an update on my blog. Phew..!!

Have you ever had a day where you've thought to yourself... I wonder what it'd be like just to spend the day on the slopes...think about nothing else, and just feel the adreneline and fresh air rush right by you?? I have that feeling just about every day. Perfect North has become my little "happy place" where I get away from school and sort out many of life's wonderful issues. It's also been my source of entertainment during those days where you just need to have a good laugh. As I've watched many of times from the lift, poor pathetic new beginners have made the goal of their day - to go down "center stage" . Now if any of you know what that is like, that is , by far, not a beginners course. But, some have quite the determination. In fact, some have a little too much. They WILL go down center stage whether is has to be on their butt, their face, or going head over heels at full speed until they come to a complete stop. In most of these cases, yes the body has made it down the slope, but their skis, and poles are somewhere scattered at the top. HaHa. Those poor, cold, determined souls do not realize that they are not only putting themselves in danger, but everyone around them also. But hey, they WILL accomplish their goal.

So, break has started and I've kind of just been hanging a bit low. I was thinking the other day, how I wasn't able to go home. And I was feeling a bit sorry for myself. But then, it was almost as if God said to me, Ange - there are so many times that you are so busy, classes become the priority, and you fail to spend time with me. I miss my time with you. So, I have decided to take this break, take what I have learned so far in classes, and just ponder over it with my Father. There's also been many of issies in which I have yet to dig through. Sometimes I think to myself.... what if people are following me?? Is the life I am living honoring God? Is He pleased with the decisions I make?? Am I walking a straight enough line? Someone said something to me awhile back that I think applies here. They said - " You cannot plow a straight line, if you're always looking back." whoofmp!! That's exactly what I have been doing...looking back...focusing on my past...limiting what God wants to do in my life NOW...and in the future. I pray as I am sowing my seeds, God will just help me to focus forward. To focus my faith in Him and know that when I can't see where He is working in my life, I can trust that He knows what He is doing.

Well that is it for today. The sun is shining, I've just had a great, yummy sunday meal, and there's snow flakes dancing around outside. What could be better!!?!

Happy Sunday!!!

Well, I this little urge to share something that I heard in todays sermon. The scripture was taken from Exodus, talking about the 'Process of time'. Meredith was talking about how those that plant orange bushels for crop tend to pick them too early, resulting in the taste of the fruit being not as rich as it could be. It would be rich if only the fruit were left to truly ripen until it's peak. then picked. The way that I understood this, was that God truly has a plan for my life. Not only may I have to go through some situations that are uncomfortable, or painful or situations in which I may have to turn around so that the Son can shine on my other side, but I am only being 'ripened' for what God really has for me. Sometimes I feel like things should happen like I want them, I should see answers to my questions now, I should see God working ( its frustrating). But, today, I finally stopped to consider just how perfect God's timing is. It is in the process of time, or in the fullness of time that I will learn to grow, to lean on , and to trust my God until I am at my peak. Until I can be plucked from the tree and placed where God wants me. "God will pluck those when they are at their peak."

" God cannot be bound by time, but is also not absent of time either." I think many times I constrain God to a time when I want things done. But I don't realize that just because I am not seeing what I WANT to see, doesn't mean God isn't working.

So, how will I apply what I have heard to my life? Applying this means that I need to work on my patience. God is ripening me for something special. Something specifically he wants to do in my life. Will it be easy waiting? No. But as I hang on and hold tight to my Anchor, God will see me through. It is in the waiting and ripening that I will become more like Him.

I hope this encourages someone. I know it's helped me today.

Goodnight.... Hello to everyone from home!!!

Well, maybe its a good time to sit down a blog for a minute. The room is dark, all the lights are off, and I have settled in for my long winters nap. HA! Some would call me "granny". I just call myself , one tired little girl who needs to close her eyes and be taken away to a place she can forget all that has happened this week and just recoop. Relax.

Ahh...except, wait, what am I talking about? That is never possible around here. Why? Because once you drift off into what you THINK may be the land of nod, let me remind you that you will hear the familar sounds of " BANG...Boom...AHhhhhhhhhhhhhh or thomping of feet up and down the hall way." Thats when I lay here, gripping my covers, silently pleading that God would provide me with the grace to deal with them outside.

Anyway... So it is the weekend...finally.. And after being awake for 21 hrs, I have made it so far through this day only breaking down once. So after coming in tonight, I was greeted with a group of my friends who were anxiously awaiting to give me the " ride" around the fountain in a rickity ol computer chair.
Did I take them up on it?? ...... yah, I did! After some pleading and convincing from Isaac, saying, "Ang just think, you'll be able to say after tonight... do you remember the time we raced around the GBS fountain on those chairs?" I gave in and...had the ride of my life, from Mr.Sam. =) Yes, this trip is deeply implanted into my memory. Especially... Ahh look out for the tree..or Stepssss...or... thinking, ahhhhh am I going to stop? Haha... What a blistfully cold, exciting night. =) (This random act of entertainment helped me to realize the cool people who truly will do have ANYTHING to have fun. )


Goodnight one and all!!
Ange

Thursday before we left NY, we all went skiing at Catamount!!! And Brrrrr..was it cold!!! (Ask Ash...=0 )

And, Now, back to Cinci it is... Will see everyone sometime in the near future!!!!!